Sunday, 20 April 2014

That one annoying person You will meet

I am talking about that one annoying person you will ever, EVER meet in your life. 

You know that person (or will meet them one day in your life), who simply irritates your very soul, their presence screams at you, so much you want to throw something at them. They are dirt to your white shoes; rain on your picnic and potholes to your car. I hope you get the idea...

This piece is mainly to highlight the annoying characteristics these people possess. Hopefully, it is not just me being a complete grumpy old woman and that some of you have come across these BUMS.

1) They will patronise you. 
Suddenly being a few years older, that automatically makes them wiser, more experienced and thus, smarter than you. You could have a debate/argument, what have you, and they would end it with "you are young still, I'm right, trust me and take it from my experience and knowledge". 
I have met people who have remain stagnate for the past 5 years; life hasn't changed for them. They wake up, eat, work, eat and sleep. They may occasionally take up a hobby but ultimately, they won't 'move' or gain much from this routine. Unless, routines and rituals mean evolving into a mindless machine?

2) Being spiteful. 
In contrast, to their 'maturity' explained above, this person will remember the most, minuscule thing and will do things just to give a taste of their idea of 'your own medicine'.
Example: You invite friends over for some gaming, movie whatever, this leads to sleeping around 2am on a non-work night.This person decides to seek revenge by vacuuming at 7 in the morning.
They've never vacuumed before. 
That person is not being funny, they're just pissed as you messed up their beauty sleep. 
He/she will remember that night and keep it in his/her bank of grudges. When you bring it up the following day, he/she explodes and all those little annoyances he/she remembers pours out.

(This blog was inspired by someone I know. Due to my laziness, lets give that person a sex... a male it is! The least masculine man you would know.)

3) Only gives if he receives. (Oh sounds naughty!)
This person will never offer their seat or tell someone that their phone has slipped out of their pockets.
Why I hear you ask? As previous situations like those, have left him feeling bitter. THEY FORGOT TO SAY "THANK YOU." 
And now, this person will never do anything nice as he won't get a pat on the head. Poor him.

4) Only does the cleaning once a year.
This is more relevant to a housemate but this bum will rarely take the rubbish out or clean the bathroom. Even if he admits those poo stains are his!
The justification for his laziness is...
"proportionately, I only contribute to 10% of the mess in this house, therefore I shouldn't have to do it that often."

That was a genuine response I got once. That one still makes me chuckle a bit. Ish. 

5) Plays Japanese pop songs in the morning. Loudly. Then pops into the shower.

6) Arrogance. That person is full of the stuff.
They claim to be this sensitive person deep inside but really, it is just to pretend they aren't as shallow.
This person will think, that every glance they have gotten is because they were being 'checked out'. That when a girl walks slowly in front of them, it is so they can catch up with them.
Another example, when a girl holds on to a door handle just a little too long, so you, her knight could 'accidentally' touch her hand. 

It's so heart-wrenching romantic.  

7) Lives an expensive lifestyle.
Soon as money rolls in, it's spent. Or perhaps, when promised of a job that will give him a 6 figure salary in half a year's time, that person would rent a city high-rise apartment in anticipation. You will hear all about 'living the dream' in their over-priced box room. Oh the dream indeed.
And when the pounds don't roll in, he continues to live beyond his means until he admits defeat. Oh no but it isn't his fault; his employers lied. Well, you have to be good at your job for a start. A sales position needs sales. 

8) The world owes me and poor me. 
This person likes to blame the world for his misfortunes. They are always the victim.        'WHY MEEE??','WHYYYY?'
There is always a reason for his flaws. 
'My parents never supported me growing up'
'I went to a state school'
'I was never pushed to try'
'I have scars on my chest, so I'm body shy'
Man up? Everyone and anyone can relate to one of those points.
What excuse do you have for being an arse? 

9) Updates Facebook/Twitter status twice a day.
I think one of the reason why I hardly use Fb anymore is because of the constant updates on trivial matters.
This person loves updating their status. Whether it be ' I love Anime' to ' My hand hurts - can't come into work'.
(The latter being because a football slapped his hand...sigh)

10) Only friend is his Mother.
Or his girlfriend is a complete blank who is stuck in their own world. 
Ok, having good relationships with your parents is fine. I am pro that. However, if she spoils you and just smothers you with kind words, and 'its never your fault' advice. Then screw that. Perhaps this annoying person characteristics is all down to their parents? There is some substance to it but hey ho. I can't bitch about their parents now - that'll be crossing the line.


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